How To Be a Good Training Partner.

30 Jan

Many of my best training sessions were the best because of the people I had around and either side of me at the time. A good session becomes a great session and a good training block becomes a great training block when the people you’re surrounded by know how to support you. And so when I’m training hard and I’m pursuing ✨ excellence ✨ in my training and in my sport, I want damn good people in the room with me. And similarly, I want the people that train alongside me to feel that I help get the very best out of them. I want people at TSF to walk in the gym on the day of a heavy session and be like “ooft, I am so glad Billie is here.”

So what makes a good training partner? How can you become someone that people want around when they’re pushing limits?

Good training partners genuinely want you to succeed.

When I look at the people I most love training with, they’re people that are so invested in my success. I most love training with people who really want the best for me. Sport means a lot to me; I give it so much of myself. I want to train alongside people who know that.

I want to train alongside people that know I have so much heart and I give it all.

I want to train alongside people who go “man, she’s worked for this. She deserves this so much.”

And so they match my energy. When I’m fired up, they’re fired up. When the music goes up, they lock in. When I’m putting on my wrist wraps, they’re waiting on either side of my rack— because they want to do what they can to contribute to my success.

Good training partners give a fuck. They’re invested in you. Even in a solo sport, they’re part of your damn team.

I don’t want to train in a room full of people on seperate journeys that have no interplay. I want to be in a room full of people that care about the journey that each of them are on. So,

Ask your training partner’s why they train — what’s the significance of them being here?
Ask what they’re doing today — are they in a heavy week of their block? Are they touching a load they’ve never done before? Are they nervous coming back from injury and handling the load that hurt them for the first time since?
Ask them how the heck they are — have they had a bad day and want to be left alone, or have they had a bad day and could really do with some support from a friend?
Do they need a spot?
How many reps are they going for on this set? Can you push them for a few more?
Tell them what you’re doing today, and how you’d like them to support you. Now their training has another focus, and you give them permission to request support from you.

Give a shit about the people around you.

Thumbnail of an instagram post of Billie's squat session — **Instagram post.** This is one of the best training sessions I’ve ever had. I had three of my all time training partners in the room with me. This was a massive double PB. We were all such rivals in the gym, we all wanted to beat each other, but when the other was lifting, we all wanted one another to be unstoppable. Nobody wanted me to succeed more than the two spotting me. I wanted them there every session of this block, and so I did.

Good training partners want to train with you; not just in the same room as you.

I often train at TSF in the middle of the day when it’s empty. (I work when it’s open). And so my training partner (hey Gary 👋) and I often have the whole place to ourselves. He’s been lifting for like six months; I’ve been lifting like 15 years, and yet we share a rack every damn session. There are eight combo racks at TSF and yet, we train together. We load each other’s plates, we set the rack for each other, we watch each other, we talk one another through our sets, we provide feedback, we are together together for the whole entire session.

What does it mean to train with your training partner?

Voluntarily share equipment. You go, I go. I don’t want a rack to myself. I want to feel that I am sharing my hobby and my pursuit with someone on a similar path to me. I want to hang out with you. I want to talk to you between sets. Even when I don’t want to talk to you, I want a quiet nod and a hand signal indicating the next bar load. I don’t want to do this alone.
You help me load my plates; I help you load your plates. Loading plates is tiring. Let’s help each other.
When you’re lifting, I’m not. When you’re lifting, I’m being attentive. If you need a spot, I’m spotting you. If not, I am watching closely, so if you ask me for a feedback or for my opinion on something, I can provide that for you. I am also watching closely because I give a shit (see above).
Read the room and match their energy. If your training partner has headphones on and is getting riled up for their set, it’s probably not the time for a chin wag. Match their energy. If they’re locking in, don’t make chit chat with the spotter across from you. Respect what they’re doing, meet them where they are, and help create an environment that facilitates their excellence. Have fun when it’s time to have fun. Shut up when it’s time to shut up. Lock in when it’s time to lock in. Contribute to cultivating the environment that they need.

You can co-exist with the people training alongside you, or you can be a team. Step one, be together. Physically get involved in one another’s training.

Good training partners come over to spot you without you having to ask.

Good training partners don’t have to wait to be asked for a spot. They already know above what load you want a spotter. They already know near or at what load you’re taking your top set. They’ve been attentive to your training the entire session, so they’re ready as soon as they see that bar load.

Nothing gets me more hyped then when I’ve put my music on (Eminem - Venom, always), I’ve got my belt on, I’m just chalking my hands, and when I’m walking over to my rack, there’s some one standing on either side of the rack waiting for me, ready to go.

If you genuinely want your training partner to succeed (see above), if you are training with your training partners (see above also), then being ready to spot is such a natural by-product.

Being ready to spot a training partner without them asking is such a love language. It says: “I am invested in your success, I want you to do well, I want to support you and I care about your safety” — and it is so fucking easy to do.

I love spotting my friends. I genuinely get FOMO when they do a heavy set and I’m not part of the spotting crew. Get in there.

Good training partners are just the right amount of competitive.

You can be directly competitive with one another, sure. But actually what I’m speaking about here is being competitive with yourself, together.

My current training partners and I have all different experience levels, strengths and weaknesses. We’re not commonly directly competitive with one another.

However,

If we’re doing ring push ups and you got 25/24/20 in your three sets, the hell am I dropping off more than five reps from set one to set three on mine
If you had the grit to push to a true RPE 10 on the leg extension, then I am absolutely going there too
If we’re peaking and both our programs have us set up for a PB today, I am damn well pushing for mine
In my rowing team, my teammate with the best erg scores is usually about 0:05/500m faster than me. Of course I want to dig deep to show her I’m matching her effort, of course I want to close that gap, but at the very least in a session, I never want to be more that 0:05/500m slower than her. She’s pushing me to be better, to be more competitive with myself.

Find opportunities for friendly competition. You don’t have to be a competitive person to collaborate with someone to have you both pushing for your very best.

It is so damn cliché, but “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”.

Sharing a rack may slow your session down slightly, but chances are it improves the quality of your session by a stack.

Pausing to watch the set of a training partner may slow you down slightly, but their reciprocal support could be a +3 rep difference on each RPE 9 set.

Having someone to battle it out with in the gym can so greatly enhance your enjoyment of training, so instead of tapping out in two years, you stick around for 10 — I’ve made a lot more progress in 10 years of powerlifting than I would have in two.

Don’t wait for the perfect training partner to walk on up to you. Be the perfect training partner. Lead by example, show those around you how it’s done, and watch the whole community lift.

Some memorable moments: